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Poster: grendelschoice Date: Jul 21, 2009 3:41pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

"Yeah, caler, go ahead."

"Um. yeah, hi...is this the Grateful Dead forum?"

"Yep."

"Oh. OK...well, I wanted to talk about how surprisingly good the "Go to Nassau" release is...the shows from May 15 and 16 in 1980, and..."

"What? Have you not been paying attention? This is a forum for rants about Jews, Islam, liberal commie pinkos and my necrophiliac feelings for the late President Nixon!"

"But, I though this was a place where people who have loved the music of Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead could come together and discuss this terrific music and the wonderful legacy left behind after decades and thousands of shows."

"Whatever gave you THAT idea?"

"Well, I mean the title of the forum IS 'Grateful Dead'."

"Oh, isn't that just perfect? You Gaddamned liberals and your never-ending sense of enTITLEment! I'm 'entitled' to human rights...i'm enTITLEd to equal protection under the law..."

"No, no, I just meant the 'title' of the forum indicates it's about Grateful Dead music..."

"...and so you thought that TITLE gave you rights?"

"No, I guess not. I mean, I suppose there are other places I could search out for talking about the Dead's music..."

"Damn right. Why don't you go there?"

"well, it just seems odd because I'm sure there are many places YOU could go to vent your hateful bile against Muslims, Jews, liberals, and all non-Christian, non-right wingers in general...there are plenty of KKK and neo-Nazi hate sites on the web that would love to hear your views on the bible and Nixon and black-op helicopters....just seems a bit odd that you would choose a Grateful Dead forum to do your ranting."

"Odd? No...you're odd, you hippie-dancing Grateful Dead-worshipping commie bastard!!!"

"OK, well...it's been...umm...interesting? being here for the past few years, but much as I hate to admit it--maybe you're right and I'll just move on. Seems stupid to have to wade through 100 posts about Islam and Nixon just to try and squeeze in a point about how great those 5/15 and 16/1980 Nassau shows are."

"Nassau? 1980? What the hell are you talking about? Shut up! Shut up and get off my forum!!!"

"OK...I'll just take my answer off the air. It's been fun, but like a great band once said "please don't dominate the rap jack, if you got nothin' new to say. Peace and bye bye, folks."

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Poster: BongWzrd Date: Jul 23, 2009 11:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

FANTASTIC RESPONSE GC!!!!

This was one of the reasons I have not been around the Forum that much lately, it started to get away from the main point and that is the music of the Grateful Dead....

There are a Million websites JerryMissingFinger can visit and post his thoughts:

Rush Limbaughs site
The KKK's webpage
The "I hate everything in life" webpage
FoxNews
ImBitter.com

But for some reason he thinks we care about his thoughts here....But that is what Trolls do, they don't want to talk to folks that agree with them, they want to argue with those who don't....It's a weird Power Trip thing with Trolls, they feed off making others mad....

Also, GC nailed it with the NSB line:
"Please don't dominate the rap jack, if you got nothin' new to say."

This post was modified by BongWzrd on 2009-07-23 18:47:27

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Poster: hippie64 Date: Jul 21, 2009 5:55pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

thanx for your insight about the ignorance that has been spewed in the name of the G.D. jerry would be bumming about right now

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Poster: oh_uh_um_ah Date: Jul 21, 2009 11:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Jerry would be shooting heroin, eating fucking donuts and wondering why he can't take a shit...

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Poster: banditos33 Date: Jul 22, 2009 11:51am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

I guess that being bummed out is still lot better than being apast junkie and and DEAD. dumb ass

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Poster: oh_uh_um_ah Date: Jul 22, 2009 1:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on...

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Poster: CPettingill Date: Jul 22, 2009 6:31pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have Rush's dick caught in my throat.............

Frank Zappa : Sy Borg Lyrics

Central scrutinizer:
This is the central scrutinizer... joe and his date are going back to the apartment to have a little party...

Joe:
Sy borg
Gimme dat,
Gimme dat

Sy borg
Gimme dat, give me
De chromium leg,

I beg

Sy borg
Gimme dat,
Gimme dat

Sy borg
Gimme dat, give me
De chromium leg,

Little wires,
Pliers, tires
They turn me on

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm crazy,
Mon...

Stroking several of sy's gleaming appendages, joe continues...

Gee, sy
This is a real groovy
Apartment
You've got here

Sy borg:
All government
Sponsored recreational
Services are clean and
Efficient

Joe:
This is exciting
I never plooked
A tiny chrome-plated
Machine
That looks like a
Magical pig
With marital aids
Stuck all over it
Such as yourself
Before

Sy borg:
You'll love it!
It's a way of life.

Joe:
Does that mean
Maybe later
You'll plook me...

Sy borg:
If you wish, we may
Have a groovy orgy

Joe:
Just me and you?

Sy borg:
I share this apartment
With a modified
Gay bob doll
He goes all the way...
Ever try oral sex with
A miniature rubberized
Homo-replica?

Joe:
No, ah, not yet,
Ah, is this him?

Sy borg:
This is him.
Your wish is
His command
He likes you
He wants to kiss
You always
Just tell him what
You want

Joe:
Really?
Hi, little guy
Think I might get a
Tiny, but exciting
Blow...job...

Gimme dat,
Gimme dat
Blow job...
Gimme dat, give me
De chromium cob.

Sy borg:
Bend over.

Joe:
Gay bob
Blow job
Gimme dat,
Gimme dat
Blow job
Gimme dat, give me
De chromium cob

Sy borg:
You'll love it!
It looks just like a
Telefunken u-47.

Joe:
Little leather cap
And trousers
They look so gay..
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Hey...

Sy borg:
Bob is tired.
Plook me now,
You savage rascal
Ehhh! that tickles.
You are a fun person
I like you.
I want to kiss
You always.

Joe:
Gee, this is great
How's about some
Bondage and
Humiliation

Sy borg:
Anything you say,
Master.

Joe:
Oh no, I don't believe
It
You're way more fun
Than mary...

Sy borg:
You're plooking
Too hard...

Joe:
And cleaner than
Lucille...

Sy borg:
Plooking on me...

Joe:
What have i
Been missing
All these years?

Sy borg:
Too hard

Joe:
Sy...

Sy borg:
Too hard

Joe:
Sy...

Sy borg:
Plooking too hard
On me-e-e-e-e...

Joe:
Speak to me
Oh no...
The golden shower
Must have shorted out
His master circuit
He's, he's, oh my god
I must have
Plooked him...
Hey
To death...
Hey

Central scrutinizer:
This is the central scrutinizer... you have just destroyed one model xqj-37 nuclear powered pan- sexual roto-plooker and you're gonna have to pay for it! so give up, you haven't got a chance.

Joe:
But i...
I, i, i, i, i...
I can't pay
I gave all my money
To some kinda groovy
Religious guy...
Two songs ago...

Central scrutinizer:
Come on out son...
Between the two of us
We'll find a way to
Work it out

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Poster: cream-puff-war Date: Jul 22, 2009 7:17pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have Rush's dick caught in my throat.............

I'm My Own Grandpa

Lyrics: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Music: Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe

Played by Jerry Garcia with David Grisman

Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother
'Cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter
Though it really brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became
A brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle
Then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter
WHo of course is my step-mother

Chorus
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa

My father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild
For he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife
She's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother
Then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it
It nearly drives me wild
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma
I am my own grandpa

[chorus]


(the original version can be heard 2/3 the way into this video I made of home movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36ShvK_XcJI

but I'd sure like to hear what Grisman and Garcia did with it - any chance it's on LMA?)

Attachment: what-is-this.jpg

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Poster: fenario80 Date: Jul 21, 2009 4:37pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Very nice. At least the masks are all off now. They'll get bored pretty quickly; children always do.

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Poster: oh_uh_um_ah Date: Jul 21, 2009 11:29pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Felatio, felatio...where for art thou felatio?

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Poster: fenario80 Date: Jul 22, 2009 8:18am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Wow, that was clever! Romeo and Juliet!

You know, the play Hamlet actually has a character in it named "Horatio," lots of great quotes that you could have used there. Imagine the fun you would have if you weren't such a screaming moron.

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Poster: Styrofoam Cueball Date: Jul 22, 2009 9:27am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

and he misspelled 'fellatio,' which stands to reason...

This post was modified by Styrofoam Cueball on 2009-07-22 16:27:59

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Poster: snow_and_rain Date: Jul 21, 2009 4:22pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Eat, drink, drink some more, slap your wife, kick your dog, grow increasingly more detached from reality, and listen to the Grateful Dead.

Thanks for the hate!

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Poster: cream-puff-war Date: Jul 22, 2009 3:19am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Good read,indeed, and here's an oldie by a friendly fascist:

http://www.archive.org/iathreads/post-view.php?id=199106

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: Jul 22, 2009 9:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Thanks CPW

I missed that one the first time around, I see it is from a year ago . . . look how far we've come . . . the impending threat of even more government involvement and more tax burden from our completely dysfunctional & corrupt two party system!!

A politician of a different color is still a politician!

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Poster: cream-puff-war Date: Jul 22, 2009 6:59pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

thanks JGL for reading that rant.
I kinda hoped oh_um might cheer down a bit of it,

it's caustic to phony liberals (and Nixon too!) ... since I've been on both sides of the Moebius trip.
(a Moebius strip is a one-sided loop!)_


Typos galore, but c'mon Uncle Uh Uh, you gotta read it!

http://www.archive.org/iathreads/post-view.php?id=199106




This post was modified by cream-puff-war on 2009-07-23 01:59:27

Attachment: reagan-cpw-pop.jpg
Attachment: bob1953.jpg
Attachment: bob1968.jpg

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Poster: Styrofoam Cueball Date: Jul 21, 2009 8:34pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Awesome (yet kind of sad) post, Grendel... When Road Trips '71 ends I'll slap on Evans Field House '77 in your honor... :D

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Poster: drspark61 Date: Jul 22, 2009 9:41am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

Good post, but now it's time for everyone to stop feeding the trolls.

Which means stop responding. Stop posting. Ignore. Get on with the business at hand, which is the Grateful Dead.

When a kid acts out to get attention, you stop giving that kid attention.

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jul 21, 2009 6:24pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

I stand well reprimanded.

My bad one and all...I tried and failed.

Well, Prime Ministers are always putting their feet in their mouth, right? At least I remain true to form.

Good read GC!

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Jul 21, 2009 3:59pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

long time listener, and unfortunately, not a first time caller.

Thanks - that was good.

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: Jul 22, 2009 9:39am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: oh_um_uh_ah.........scuse me i seem to have a dick caught in my throat.............

lmfao